| #4264 :: Blonde Deodorant |
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| 23rd October 2008 at 08:29 |
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| Daily Joke on 12th October 2011 |
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A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for a bottom deodorant. "Sorry, we don't sell bottom deodorant" the pharmacist replies, struggling to keep from laughing.
"But I always buy it here", the blonde says. "I bought one last month". Thinking quickly, the pharmacist suggests, " I don't know what you bought before, may be you can bring in the empty container next time". "Sure", the blonde replies. "I'll bring it with me tomorrow"
The next day, the blonde walks into the shop again and hands the pharmacist an almost empty deodorant stick. "This is just a normal deodorant", the pharmacist tells the blonde, "You use it under your arms".
"No, it is not", the blonde answers, "it says so here: To apply, push up bottom". |
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| #1662 :: From Driving Exams |
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| 25th August 2008 at 23:05 |
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| Daily Joke on 7th October 2011 |
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| Q:When driving through fog, what should you use?A: Your car. |
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| #1675 :: Creative Answering Machine Message |
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| 25th August 2008 at 23:05 |
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| Daily Joke on 6th October 2011 |
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| You have reached 934-2435. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition. You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded. If we don't return your call, it means the machine did not work. |
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| #2505 :: <Untitled> |
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| 5th September 2008 at 22:49 |
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| Daily Joke on 5th October 2011 |
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| What has 4 legs and one arm?A pit bull leaving a playground. |
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| #1589 :: Real Church Announcements |
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| 25th August 2008 at 23:05 |
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| Daily Joke on 29th September 2011 |
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| The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer. |
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| #4538 :: French Horn |
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| 25th October 2008 at 13:34 |
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| Daily Joke on 23rd September 2011 |
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How many French horn players does it take to change a lightbulb?
 Continued after the cut |
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| #7327 :: <Untitled> |
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| 20th December 2008 at 11:25 |
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| Daily Joke on 22nd September 2011 |
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| Knock! Knock!Who's there?Cereal!Cereal who?Cereal pleasure to meet you! |
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| #6321 :: <Untitled> |
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| 11th December 2008 at 20:14 |
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| Daily Joke on 21st September 2011 |
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| Yo geeky Star Wars friend so old he used to baby sit Yoda |
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| #2066 :: Wooden Airfield |
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| 26th August 2008 at 23:42 |
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| Daily Joke on 20th September 2011 |
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An enemy decoy, built in occupied Holland, led to a tale that has been told and retold ever since by veteran Allied pilots. The German "airfield," constructed with meticulous care, was made almost entirely of wood. There were wooden hangars, oil tanks, gun emplacements, trucks, and aircraft.
The Germans took so long in building their wooden decoy that Allied photo experts had more than enough time to observe and report it.
The day finally came when the decoy was finished, down to the last wooden plank. Early the following morning, a lone RAF plane crossed the Channel, came in low, circled the field once, and dropped a large wooden bomb. |
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| #2059 :: Two Terrorists |
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| 26th August 2008 at 23:21 |
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| Daily Joke on 19th September 2011 |
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Two terrorists are chatting. One of them has his wallet out and is flipping through pictures. "Yeah, this is my oldest. He's a martyr. Here's my second son. He's a martyr, too."
There's a pause.
Then, the second terrorist says, wistfully: "Ah, they blow up so fast, don't they?" |
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| #4849 :: <Untitled> |
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| 26th October 2008 at 11:25 |
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| Daily Joke on 15th September 2011 |
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Pat and Mike were in dire circumstances. Having only one decent pair of trousers between them, one day pat would wear them to look for work and the
next day Mike would wear them.
Pat was going out and noticed the top button was loose and Mike said sure now Mrs Murphy would sew the button on fer ye.
Pat says Aye that she would. he left and in a little bit, came back all bloody and bruised.
What on earth happened lad?
Well as we said, Mrs Murphy would sew the button.
She said, since it is the top button, no need to remove the pants and bless her heart she sewed it on and not having her sissors handy, she pulled me up and bit the thread off.
About that unfortunate time, Mr Murphy came into the room. THE MOST UNREASONABLE SOB you ever saw in your life |
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| #682 :: <Untitled> |
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| 16th August 2008 at 21:56 |
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| Daily Joke on 13th September 2011 |
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| Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut. |
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| #1864 :: <Untitled> |
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| 25th August 2008 at 23:05 |
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| Daily Joke on 12th September 2011 |
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| Dyslexia: it can warn without striking! |
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| #6004 :: <Untitled> |
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| 11th December 2008 at 20:13 |
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| Daily Joke on 11th September 2011 |
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| She ran off quicker than shit off a shovel |
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| #6855 :: <Untitled> |
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| 11th December 2008 at 20:14 |
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| Daily Joke on 9th September 2011 |
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| Are we related? Do you want to be? |
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| #5572 :: <Untitled> |
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| 11th December 2008 at 20:13 |
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| Daily Joke on 8th September 2011 |
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| FRIENDSHIP is like a tree... It is not MEASURED on how TALL it could be, but is on how DEEP the ROOTS HAVE GROWN... |
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| #5973 :: <Untitled> |
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| 11th December 2008 at 20:13 |
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| Daily Joke on 6th September 2011 |
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| She's had more pricks than a second hand dartboard |
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| #1432 :: <Untitled> |
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| 25th August 2008 at 23:05 |
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| Daily Joke on 5th September 2011 |
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| Sign in a bowling alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop." |
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| #2442 :: <Untitled> |
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| 5th September 2008 at 22:49 |
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| Daily Joke on 2nd September 2011 |
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| Why didn't the skeleton ask his girl friend to the dance?Because he didn't have any guts. |
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| #1494 :: <Untitled> |
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| 25th August 2008 at 23:05 |
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| Daily Joke on 1st September 2011 |
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| Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family. |
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Sebastian
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